When Is The Right Time To End A Relationship

Are you thinking of leaving a partner? It isn’t wrong!

The fault may be with you or your partner!

Whomever it may be, have you been contemplating the basics of a happy relationship?

Every man or woman wants a partner who is rich, or in other words, wealthy in terms of character, personality, and income. As a result, they can both grow, developing healthy relationships while achieving personal life-long goals.

In history, the great Ethiopian Queen Sheba (Saba), a powerful and influential leader of her time, traveled far to visit King Solomon. According to the NIV Bible, The purpose of Queen Sheba's visit was to test the Jewish King Solomon’s wisdom by asking him to solve a number of riddles.

Although the Bible does not give us detailed information on her questions, the Bible states, King Solomon not only answered all her questions but impressed her with his wisdom and physical assets.

She said to the king, "The report I heard in my own country about your achievements and your wisdom is true. But I did not believe these things until I came and saw with my own eyes. Indeed, not even half was told to me; in wisdom and wealth, you have far exceeded the report I heard. How happy your family must be! How pleased your officials are to stand before you and listen to your wisdom! Praise be to the Lord your God, who has delighted in you and placed you on the throne of Israel. Because of the Lord’s eternal love for Israel, he has made you king to maintain justice and righteousness. "

1 Kings 10:6-9 NIV

The two royals exchanged expensive gifts. Queen Sheba gave him over 120 talents of gold, various spices (ideal commodities at the time), precious stones and sandalwood (a type of sandalwood tree). In return, he gave her all that she desired and other unidentified gifts (which the Bible did not specify in detail).

Then the queen of Sheba gave King Solomon 4 1/2 tons [b] of gold, a huge amount of spices, and precious stones. She gave Solomon more spices than anyone had ever brought into Israel. Hiram’s servants brought gold from Ophir. They also brought in jewels and a special kind of wood. King Solomon used this special wood to make steps for the Lord’s Temple and the king’s palace. Solomon also used the algum wood to make lyres and harps for the singers. No one ever saw such beautiful things like those made from algum wood in the country of Judah. King Solomon gave the Queen of Sheba everything she asked for. He gave her more than she had brought to give him. The queen of Sheba and her servants then returned to their own country.

2 Chronicles 9:9-12 NIV

The Jewish Bible ends the story, but according to the Kebra Negast version ("The Glory of Kings"), an Ethiopian text, the story continues. Makeda / Queen Sheba makes the decision to pay a visit to King Solomon. She offers him gifts and receives gifts in exchange, and the two talk for hours. Makeda (Queen Sheba) accepts Solomon's god and converts to Judaism near the conclusion of their time together.

Before Makeda (Queen Sheba) leaves, Solomon organizes a large feast to commemorate her visit, and she spends the night in the palace. Solomon swore an oath not to touch her as long as she doesn't steal from him.

Makeda /Queen Sheba agrees, but later that night, she becomes thirsty and discovers a coliseum of water in a room, which Solomon has placed in the center. She's drinking the water when Solomon appears and tells her that she promised she'd never steal, yet she's drinking his water without permission. Makeda/Queen Sheba agrees to sleep with him because she has broken the oath. Before she leaves Jerusalem, Solomon gives her his ring to remember him by, and she gives birth to a son named Menilek ("son of the wise man") before her journey home. Makeda/Queen Sheba gives Menilek Solomon's ring and instructs him to go find his father when Menilek grows up and asks who his father is.

I narrated this short story to illustrate the importance of ending certain relationships at the right time and in good faith. She chose not to continue her intimate relationship with a man with more than seven hundred wives, countless concubines and enormous wealth. She wisely established diplomatic relations, gained influence, satisfied her curiosity about the Jewish king and his wealth, and later returned to her domain.

So also, should we use our time wisely and move on when it’s the right time? A follower turned to our blog for advice on a situation that affected him a lot. A devoted husband and devoted father to four beautiful children, he is considering ending his 15-year marriage due to financial pressures. His wife is obsessed with a lifestyle similar to that of the rich and famous; from expensive surgeries and expensive vacations to countless designer items, he can't stop his wife from overspending. Therapies and counseling have failed to stop her from draining him of everything he earns.

Due to his ill health, he is considering filing for divorce, bankruptcy and seeking full custody of their four children. However, he still is very much in love with his wife and isn’t willing to break up his family. Raised by two hard-working parents, he wants his children to have a happy childhood similar to what he once had.

Although we recommended he end the relationship (as his counselor advised him to) as soon as possible and follow through with his heart desires, imparting the importance of reaching out to trustworthy relatives and friends for support as he faces this difficult period.

His story is similar to many untold stories out there. When warning signs glare, signaling the end of a bad relationship, it may be the right time to leave, don’t ignore, try your best to weigh your options, honor it, and move on. Your life may be hanging in the balance.

Dr Hal Shorey, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and professor of clinical psychology at Widener University, said it best in an article he wrote for Psychology Today - Good and Bad Ways to End a Relationship

Be kind and gentle with yourself as you do the right thing. Honor yourself and your chosen course of action while you do your best to preserve the other person’s integrity and well-being. Remember, you are a fellow passenger on this journey of life. At some point, you also are likely to be on the receiving end of the same process.

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