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Why Your Ex-Lover Is So Over You 101: The Essential Guide

Updated: Dec 1, 2023








You meet someone, begin an intimate relationship with them, and fall in love. As time goes by, you receive an unexpected message (could be verbal or written) from your partner saying they need some space. Despite your attempts to communicate and mend the relationship, they remain aloof and uninterested. You're left bewildered and full of unanswered questions. Days later, you stumble upon your ex's Instagram post showing them blissfully happy with a cute cookie and a caption that reads, "never knew love until i met you."


It is not uncommon for people who are heartbroken to find themselves in this situation, questioning how their ex-partner was able to move on so quickly. One possible explanation for this is that they may have allowed themselves to mourn the end of the relationship while it was still ongoing. While I can only offer my own perspective, it is something that is worth thinking about.

It's unlikely that someone who is truly invested in a relationship would suddenly wake up on a Monday with the intention of ending it on Thursday. It's a process that takes time. Initially, they may disregard the idea and feel guilty for even considering it.


They may recognize that they're with a wonderful person and should feel grateful. In their attempt to erase those thoughts, they may put more effort into the relationship by being more affectionate, increasing intimacy, buying small gifts, and planning vacations. Essentially, they'll do anything to rekindle the connection they once had.

However, the emotion persists and they resort to searching for assistance online while on the job. They anticipate the possibility that their sentiment is a result of the stress caused by a recent development in their life. Nonetheless, their efforts do not bear fruit and the thought continues to plague them.


Subsequently, they divulge their troubles to a confidant. After being too hesitant to vocalize their thoughts for several weeks or months, they share their deepest anxieties during a night out for drinks. Their friends respond with empathy and comprehension, providing support and the desire for their wellbeing.



They deliberated with their loved ones for a few weeks before finally coming to the conclusion that they will end their relationship. The thought of moving on and living without their significant other seems daunting. They become disheartened and gloomy. You notice that something is off and try to comfort them in any way possible, not knowing the exact cause of their distress. They frequently cry in your embrace and want to open up about their emotions, but fear your possible negative reaction.


They choose to stay in the relationship even though they're feeling unhappy, unsure of when they'll finally end it. Eventually, encouraged by loved ones, they end the relationship and don't want to discuss it with you or reply to your messages. They seem cold and move on quickly with their life, but it's because they've already gone through the stages of grief before ending the relationship. They didn't necessarily move on quickly, they just had a head start.

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