Mike,
As you sit before me playing games, as you often do, your voice remains the most cherished sound to me. I adore the cozy place we've constructed as a team, along with our dog, my job, our social circle. I cherish the moments when we snuggle and drink coffee or lazily awake with you snoring and whispering that I shouldn't leave.
My feelings for you have changed and I don't feel the same way as I did before. When you betrayed me the first time, something inside me shattered. I even cried on the dirty bathroom floor while strangers tried to comfort me, but it wasn't enough. Although I stayed with you, it was because I had already put so much effort into our relationship that I couldn't bear to let it go.
However, at present, you have gone too far. Your flirting and cuddling with her have crossed a boundary despite me voicing my disagreement about having a threesome with her since she is a friend and it was my birthday party. Although you didn't entirely cross the boundary, you came close and it made me extremely angry and furious with you. We've invested a lot of effort and time in building trust and creating our own world, and you almost risked it all again.
You have apologized and expressed your exhaustion from my constant anger towards you. However, I too am tired. Since that particular night, my love for you has not been the same. It's evident to both of us that something is now off between us. Although loving you when we're together is effortless, thinking about leaving you crosses my mind every morning when I set off for work.
I have consistently been the one advocating for our relationship. From the very beginning, I pursued you relentlessly until I was out of breath. I am no longer capable of fighting and I do not wish to do so anymore. You have drained all of my energy and motivation to continue fighting. The worst part is that I have become too accustomed to settling for mediocrity. I no longer feel like the person I once was.
I feel no admiration for the girl reflected in the mirror and I doubt you do as well. If you truly cared for her, you wouldn't have taken the actions you did. Presently, I observe you playing video games while you reach your hand back to touch my hair, while I reveal to strangers online just how miserable I am feeling.
Regina
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