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Let's Break The Silence On Sexual Assault! A Guy's Honest Take On This Issue




I’m sharing this because it’s not just an opinion, it’s a fear I share with so many of my male friends. As a young adult in my late 20’s, I worry about what challenges my children will face and what steps I can take to protect them.


Will I be able to protect my kids? Will my efforts be enough to bring them up right? Will they recognize and appreciate me? How much do I need to earn or accomplish to give them everything they need? Will they use the information I teach them to make smart choices?

These inquiries silently added to my burden. Even so, I will refrain from further elaboration and proceed with my writing.


It has become apparent to me that nearly every woman I become close to has experienced some form of sexual abuse. This realization has highlighted the severity of the problem. Recently, during a night out with new acquaintances, one of the girls I have grown particularly close to shared her experiences with a guy who used to be their mutual friend but has turned into a stalker.


She had previously mentioned several strange incidents surrounding this guy's behavior towards her, but this time she revealed that he had actually raped her at a house party long ago. She expressed her current fear of dealing with his ongoing obsession, which deeply frightens her. Witnessing her go through this and the evident difficulty she faced in discussing it made me feel absolutely terrible for her.

However, what I have observed is that each girl I am close to confides in me similar stories of sexual assault. Every girl who I consider a close friend has shared a comparable experience. For instance, my closest friend had her drink spiked after meeting up with a guy she trusted as a friend.


Despite the fact that he had never made any advances before and was aware that she was dating someone else at the time, he persisted in trying to make romantic advances. She suspects strongly that he was the one who spiked her drink, though she has no solid evidence. Fortunately, one of her friends was present and ensured her safety by getting her home and away from him.


The story that impacted me the most was a girl I formed a strong bond with last year. At first, she seemed intimidating and distant (though she is genuinely one of the kindest and funniest person I have ever met), but she confided in me that she puts on a tough demeanor to keep people at a distance because she was raped when she was only 16.


This traumatic experience plunged her into depression and anxiety, as the person involved spread false rumors at school, suggesting that she engaged in sexual activities with him and three other individuals simultaneously to tarnish her reputation out of spite. She had to seek psychiatric help, engaged in self-harm, and struggled to open up to anyone.


Only in the past few years has she begun to heal from the ordeal. She shared all of this information with me casually, wearing an unconcerned beam on her face as though it meant not a single thing to her. However, her voice cracking up made it clear It still hurts and makes me very depressed.

Intriguingly, almost every girl who has confided in me about similar experiences has exhibited a comparable demeanor, trying to downplay the significance and assuring me that there's no need for apologies because "it's in the past now." They often express regret for bringing it up, dismissing it as a pointless conversation.


The fact that all of these girls have had such experiences is profoundly sorrowful to me. Despite their efforts to appear strong, they all seem shattered by it. They have come to accept that justice will never be served for what they went through and even feel like a burden for mentioning it. This is extremely disheartening.


I struggle to comprehend the purpose of expressing these thoughts, aside from recognizing the widespread prevalence of this issue. Although I always knew about it intellectually, being a guy allowed me to remain emotionally detached from the depths of this problem for a long time.


It simply wasn't a concern that I had to face while growing up, and that's a privilege I now acknowledge. I feel incredibly ignorant that I was unaware of the number of people in my friendship circles who have been directly affected by difficult circumstances. As I continue to grow older and encounter these stories firsthand, it deeply saddens me.


However, what I have learned from each of these encounters is an immense amount of respect and admiration for these women. They have shown incredible strength and bravery, dealing with their struggles largely on their own. I may never fully comprehend the emotions they experience, but that doesn't diminish my amazement towards every woman who has faced these challenges. Even in their moments of vulnerability and when sharing their experiences, all I can think about is how resilient they are.


THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

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