"OUT OF ORDER"

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So, this occurred many years ago, in high school. I was in class and wasn't feeling well. I truly wish I was joking, but I'm not. I have an intestinal condition, that causes frequent bowel movement, I won't go into detail. If I recall correctly, I was in class and didn't poop for approximately a week and a half, I could only urinate. It was really awful. My stomach hurt so much.

I would never poop in school, only at home, but that day was an exception.

I told myself, "I'll go potty in the restroom, It'll be the biggest poo anyone has ever seen, but they won't know who did it". So I asked the teacher to use the restroom, took a hall pass and was on my way.

I enter the restroom—thank God it wasn't occupied at the time—run to the stall, lock it, close it, squat on the toilet, and lower my pants. There it goes about  five-seven seconds later. After straining for thirty seconds, one came out followed by another. As soon as the feces touched the toilet water, I could immediately smell them, and it was disgusting. There was no way that this was going to flush.

But then a student entered the room. My heart probably dropped all the way to my nutsack. I was actually scared. The student entered immediately and screamed "Oh my god, what the fuck is that?!" He said before taking a fast piss and leaving. I spent the following several minutes sitting on the toilet. Even though my stomach hurt, I also had relief.

I didn't flush it, no. Never even tried because I knew it would clog. I didn't want anyone to have the smallest suspicion that it was me. I eventually walked back to class after using the restroom. The teacher said I was running late on the way back because I was in there for a while.

I quickly come up with an excuse,

"I'm sorry miss, Won't lie to you, my friends stepped in and we got caught up in stupid discussion," and I tell her that.

She answers me "At least you're being honest, which I admire." I returned to my desk and completed my work.

At the end of the day, no one knew who had flushed this enormous poo into the toilet and then left it there.

That day, after school, I went home and engaged in the typical teenage pranks. Took a piss, played video games, did my homework half-way, other stuff and returned to school the following day."I'm heading to the restroom to see if that stuff is still there, and if the janitors done anything about it," is my initial thinking. I entered the stall, and it was clearly labeled "OUT OF ORDER," with the lid closed and everything.

It was so funny that I was dying of laughter. I made a concerted effort to control my laughter, which I did. Coming back the following day and finding that same toilet broken made me laugh uncontrollably. It remained that way for possibly another month. And no one knew who did it until very recently. This was undoubtedly one of my strangest but yet funniest high school memories.

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